Welcome to

Oh Gay Cupid!

Autostraddle’s OkCupid show. We get lots of concerns on Formspring regarding internet dating, therefore we ultimately had gotten a lot of people with each other to share with you it.


While OkCupid actually truly the only online dating service for queers, and maybe is not perhaps the finest, it can appear to be the only we use frequently. We are going to end up being talking about all things OkC, including conference pals, basic times, profiles, fuck-ups, letdowns and more. Although it’s the ‘OkCupid Series,’ counsel offered within show could easily be employed to any online dating service.

Oh Gay Cupid! illustrations by
Rory Midhani

Not so long ago, I made an OkCupid profile for a position I had. I did not really put any work into it. I don’t even know exactly what it stated when I’ve deleted it entirely. I’ve never been somebody who wants currently if not trying to hook up. Most likely because i have never resided somewhere that things coming while they may wasn’t enough to please my personal lesbionic discussion quota. Whilst a family member outsider with the OkCupid video game, i will be suggesting a possibly brand-new approach to this online dating game to people ready to eschew norms and get an opportunity.

This indicates to me that most users aren’t hits since they are sometimes very non-offensive and never engaging that no one is called to activity roughly particular that not too many individuals will bother.

No one wants to hear much more about how you “love checking out” because that exact phrasing is generally indicative you don’t in fact love reading and it’s also broad proper to proper care. However, should you get therefore obscure that you’re making reference to how much you love Carl Muller, you’ll probably do have more success discovering girls in grad class and that’s like a truly high priced OkCupid anyway.

People pretend that by checking out someone’s profile you can actually get acquainted with all of them.

This demonstrably isn’t really the case so why also pretend?

I thought it’d be far better address picking right up women on-line exactly the same way We treat obtaining women in real world.

1. Have a hook

With OKC, the hook is the login name. Many seem to have perfected this art superior to I have. In many situations, it appeared they simply place two haphazard ass circumstances collectively until it seemed vaguely ridiculous and fairly fascinating. Various other cases, customers play off of actual life people or imaginary characters. I’m called

NotHilarious

which does not exactly fit the pattern just a few others that I think should do the task tend to be SnarkyPretzel, GreenEggsandClam, and SaneMcCutcheon. Also anything that feels like an awful indie band is actually probs nailing it.

You need to provide folks one thing to cling onto. Take a stance. Choose a side. Sometimes it’s not about causing them to would like you. It’s about which makes them want you to want them.

2. Be tongue-in-cheek

Subtlety helps make people pay attention. Even though you might be the a lot of earnest person in this field and every word-of the profile are true, everyone else assumes you’re putting on airs. Of course you are not placing them on, perhaps you need. When everybody is wanting to put their very best base onward, men and women tend not to just take things at par value.

You need to remember that quick superficial judgments will likely be generated about you.

The web internet dating profile is a constant struggle of what it states versus exactly what it suggests.

Sample 1:

We invest the majority of evenings playing jazz with a hot cup of beverage inside my fingers and my personal eyes in the stars.

Interpretation 1: You’re sleeping (68per cent)

Interpretation 2: you are boring as fuck (26%)

Explanation 3: Me too! (6%)

Sample 2:

Currently I’m investing almost all of my personal time raising cash for a 5K to profit the Blind Kittens of Africa Coalition.

Interpretation 1: Shut up (47per cent)

Interpretation 2: Stop revealing (46per cent)

Explanation 3: Awww (7%)

3. have them wishing a lot more

The key takeaway is you’re probably strange and special. Generate that weirdness fun and palatable, not off-putting and showy. Pick a tone and stay with it. It’s not possible to be a quirky but adorable jackass in a single question immediately after which speaking about just how the grandma inspires you every day in the next. Your profile should keep a reader amused and guessing. Make certain they are need request the knowledge that other people give away. Its part of the program that third step delivers you right back to the 1st step. They are captivated plus they want to know many the deficiency of informative information is the hook that’ll encourage them to deliver that information. For a lot of individuals that 1st step may be the most difficult. They can’t see through what you should state besides, “hi.” By taking this process they are able to quickly only ask, “Hey, what the fuck could it possibly be that you do?” and you may move from truth be told there.

Obvi your profile doesn’t have to-be as mysterious or barebones when I mine for the reason that it may seem sketch plus some people think wanting to end up being witty is really as pretentious to be unwittingly pretentious, but if you stick to those three standard recommendations, you will raise the likelihood of at the very least being amusing and fascinating even if you are actuallyn’t. I understand I’m not.

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Discuss your own profile protips for the reviews!